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The Marine Corps found it had too many officers staff NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus in order to reduce the number. The "Green Machine" promised any Marine who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two body points. The Marine got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with an early retirement bonus of $72,000.
The second Marine, also an officer, was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his out stretched hands to his toes. He walked out with a hefty $96,000.
The third Marine was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Gunnery Sgt. who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." The OIC processing the early retirement bonus advised the Gunny that he might want to reconsider, and informed him of the large checks the two Marine officers had just received. But the old Gunny insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Gunny to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer then placed the tape measure on the tip of the Gunny’s penis and began to work back.
"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Gunny calmly replied, "Vietnam," then asked, “how long will it take to process my check, sir?”
Semper Fi,
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Political Corner
