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I've been researching your same requirements for the better part of the last year (under 2500 lbs - including trailer -, room for 2 adults & 2 kids overnight, somewhat stable) and am considering a 2001 Hunter 212.
I've scheduled my sea trial for this coming weekend and plan on really testing it's heeling capacity (my wife has the same concerns as yours). It's rather beamy (8'6") for it's length (21') which may help offset the lack of fixed ballast.
It has a rather spartan ammenities, but I'm relegating my usage to day sailing. The APC Plastic hull is advertised as being much stronger than traditional fiberglass and should cleanup easy. It's not as elegant as some of the other reccomendations - it's seems to be designed for the "low maintenance" minded. There's not a lot of them out there (any insight from this group would be much welcomed) but the few reviews at the HunterOwners.com site seem to be favorable. (link enclosed)
I'll let you know how the trial goes - if you are interested.
Good Luck - the search can be a lot of fun.
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